It just plods along, explosion after explosion. That’s the problem with the rest of the movie, too. You have guns blazing, limbs flying, and Charlotte Ross’ titties all over the place, and you just don’t give a damn. There are twelve of these guys, and Cage has to dispatch ALL of them.
But because it’s filmed in the slowest slo-mo possible – hummingbirds have been filmed with fewer frames per second – it’s just boring. Now a scene like that should be awesome on a very base level. So at least the filmmakers understood cause and effect. (Trufax: when Cage got hit with the cattle prod, we all simultaneously looked at each other and asked, “Wait, wouldn’t that transfer to her?” Next shot: her orgasming. And WHILE he’s fucking her, one of the thugs hits Cage with a cattle prod, which of course sends Ross into an insane climax. WHILE he’s fucking her, Cage pulls out a gun and shoots them to death. WHILE he’s fucking her, a dozen thugs break in with weapons.
Prime example: there’s a scene early on when Cage is banging a burnt-out waitress played by Charlotte Ross (apparently, being a Bochco alum doesn’t make you bulletproof against shitty roles).
There’s no excitement in any of it, and thanks to an overuse of slo-mo (the legacy Zack Snyder has left us), some of it is excruciatingly overlong. Guys get impaled on sticks, guys get their limbs shot off, women are running around nude (and in one scene, shooting simultaneously ), and cars explode with the same frequency leaves fall off an oak tree in autumn. Not that the director isn’t trying on paper, Drive Angry is batshit crazy. Amber Heard shows up in Daisy Dukes to curse and punch a couple of people and wear Daisy Dukes, and that’s VERY nice, but she doesn’t add much else to the proceedings. I really don’t know, and I really didn’t care. Well, I covered the basics earlier: Cage escapes from hell to find his infant granddaughter has been kidnapped by a cult leader (Billy Burke, apparently a graduate from the James Carville Voice Academy) who will sacrifice her to Satan for… something.
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